Did you know
Ever since you drove away
Crunching asphalt like crystal balls under tires
I’ve been scouraging the planet
Looking for a trace of the sickly sweet elixir
You used to cure me with
Writing love songs a year later makes me feel like a pathetic fool
But I wrote this one just for you
And it won’t play on any radio
The words wnt apply to you and her
Whoever she may be
And there will be a she
To take my spot next to you on leather couches
To fit in the crook of your arms perfectly
As if God himself had carved us from
Flesh and bones
As puzzle pieces fitting together in satisfaction
I’ve cried so much over this
I’m sure I could flood the bank of that river
The one we used to sit in front of
Drinking from sapphire blue bottles
Celebrating a year
Well we got ahead of ourselves didn’t we?
Let the memory of my lips fluttering
Like moths wings over the unmistakable glow
Of your Ocean eyes
Singe the back of our throat
Caught there like a habit
Remember my hand tracing constellations on your back
And let the pain of ending something
Fill you until only hollow conclaves
In your lung exist
I tore out both chambers for you
Laid them on your front lawn with a letter that read
Hold onto me
The red mixing with earth I loved to walk over
Mud and grass making my feet slide and
I’d hold onto your shoulder
Like an anchor
Like a promise
That 1000 watt smile could power entire continents
I tried my best to commit it all to memory
Knowing it’d someday end
I cried so much I swear I’d swim it all just to get back
To you
And us
Under rain, my toes lifting me to your chin
It’s those silly things I remember most
How cruel of life to give lovers perfect memory
I’ve been sleep walking in this house
Talking to myself
No one tells you the aching never really goes away
And there is no bottle big enough
No pill strong enough
To ebb away the pain
It persists and makes a home inside your heart
Inhabiting all the corners that have been drained of love and hope
Filling aunergone shadows
Lined with malice and discontentment
I wish you hadn’t given up